Anonymous

I enjoy reading funny poems,
From Ogden Nash to Roald Dahl,
But of the poets that I read,
Anonymous is best of all.
Each time I read a funny poem,
With Anonymous below it,
I wonder why she’s still unknown.
Who is this wonderful poet?

A financial crisis! Cut costs! With dough running low and programs costing too much at his school, Principal Ouia insists that his staff and pupils must stop using that most popular non-consonant that follows d and is prior to f. That common writing symbol was also cut from this book!
Lipogram (from Ancient Greek: λειπογράμματος, "leaving out a letter") a kind of writing in which a particular letter or group of letters is avoided—usually a common vowel, and frequently "E", the most common letter.
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“Parents say the classroom is haunted,” Mr. Leeks, the custodian at Walter T. Melon Elementary, told us on the first day of school.
He leaned on his mop handle as if it were a crutch. He raised a bushy gray eyebrow and squinted an eye. His whiskers rasped like sand- paper as he stroked his narrow chin.
“Sometimes in the evening when I’m mopping the hallway, I hear sounds myself coming from that room—that room at the end of the hall,” he said. “Gives me the willies, it does.”

"Round the world! There is much in that sound to inspire proud feelings; but whereto does all that circumnavigation conduct? Only through numberless perils to the very point whence we started." Ishmael in Moby-Dick