Meet Hari who really hates homework.

Parents Overbored
They lay around all day and stew.
They argue, mope, and whine.
They gripe about what they can’t do,
And drink a lot of wine.

They get up late and later snooze.
They binge watch our TV,
They shout at what is on the news,
And Web surf endlessly.

Locked down parents are never fun.
How they need to be freed.
I wish they’d do as I have done,
Grab a good book and read.

Meet Hari who really hates homework.

🎧Listen to Homework Gnome Read Aloud produced by Author

Meet Emily who has the messiest desk in the room at the end of the hall.

Meet Emily who has the messiest desk in the room at the end of the hall.

🎧Listen to Messy Desk Pest Read Aloud produced by Author

Two Fingers

Grandpa says they mean victory.
“It’s the peace sign,” my mother said.
But at school they’re called Bunny Ears,
When we hold them behind a head.
Teachers raise them to mean ‘quiet’.
Scouts raise them when their oath’s begun.
But we just raise those Bunny Ears,
When we want to have some fun.
🎼Here's the song Bunny Ears (video) Listen and watch
Download pdf

Messy Desk Pest

Beware all you kiddies of the Messy Desk Pest,
Who will lurk inside any desk it finds messed.
It lolls among comic books, coins, stinky socks,
Banana peels, paper wads, toys, and rocks.
It nibbles pencils, gnaw pens, and white glue it will slurp.
It chews chalk, chomps crayon, and ends with a burp.
It erases math answers, pops desktops an inch,
If you’re getting out paper, your nose it will pinch.
Warning! During reading be especially aware!
The pest might reach out to snap underwear.
So you’ve been warned kiddies of the Messy Desk Pest.
Let this be a lesson: NEVER LEAVE YOUR DESK MESSED!
🎼Here's the song Messy Desk Pest (video) Listen and watch
Download pdf

Classroom Stew

Add broken crayons, white chalk dust,
Pencil shavings, red scissors rust.
A pinch of paste, a dab of glue,
That’s what goes into Classroom Stew.
Pour in black paint, six drops of ink.
Squeeze the sponge from the classroom sink.
Mix eraser crumbs, and hand soap goo,
That’s what goes into Classroom Stew.
Sprinkle on fish food, eight lumps of clay,
Silver glitter, paper-mâché.
Rubber cement, gum off your shoe,
That’s what goes into Classroom Stew.
Stir it well; dump it in a cup,
Toast your teacher, and bottoms up.
Hold your belly before you spew.
Then flood the floor with Classroom Stew.
Download pdf

A financial crisis! Cut costs! With dough running low and programs costing too much at his school, Principal Ouia insists that his staff and pupils must stop using that most popular non-consonant that follows d and is prior to f. That common writing symbol was also cut from this book!
Lipogram (from Ancient Greek: λειπογράμματος, "leaving out a letter") a kind of writing in which a particular letter or group of letters is avoided—usually a common vowel, and frequently "E", the most common letter in the English
language.
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Coming Summer 2024

Book 9: The Elevator Family Sets Sail - Ahoy! What joy! Nothing suits the Wilsons better than being on a small sailboat with its tiny berths, small main cabin, and compact galley. Why not set sail on a six-month cruise to the South Seas? Book-with-Tunes!

Do any former students remember these?