The Noise Expert
We each have special talents.
That is what our teachers tell.
Matthew is a whiz in math.
Sabrina does spelling well.
Drew’s the best at Double Dutch.
Sam spits farthest of the boys.
But Tammy’s skill tops them all.
She’s a pro at making noise.
She slaps her cheeks, clicks her teeth.
Her belches are seconds long.
And with hands in her armpits,
She trumpets a catchy song.
She whistles through her fingers,
Or into a blade of grass.
She can blow on her forearm,
Imitating passing gas.
Her knuckles crack like gunshots.
Her two palms squeal with a squeeze.
Fingers snap like castanets,
She plays drum rolls on her knees
My report cards show straight A’s,
I play soccer like a star.
What’s that to Tammy’s talent?
Someday that girl will go far.
🎼Hear the song The Noise Expert! (video) Listen and watch
🎼Hear The Noise Expert! music by Matt Van Brink performance by Concordia Conservatory Listen
Mr. Anta Claus of Antarctica
Shrinking Teacher
I saw my last year’s teacher.
Had she shrunk an inch or two?
It took me time to figure out,
She was no shorter... I grew.
🎼Hear the song Shrinking Teacher! Listen
Upside-Down Playground
Upside-Down Playground
They built the playground upside-down.
The jungle gym looks like a crown.
The tetherball still goes around,
But now it rolls along the ground.
The slide spirals into the air.
The climbing pole takes you nowhere.
The monkey bars are like train tracks.
To use them we must bend our backs.
The swings won’t swing; the rings are dead.
We get drinks standing on our head.
The ball wall did an odd flip-flop.
The play fort floor is on the top.
Basketball dunk shots are a breeze.
We start bar twirls from our knees.
It's topsy-turvy recess play.
We're glad parents built it this way.
🎼Hear the song Upside-Down Playground! (video) Listen and watch
Classroom Creature Trilogy
“Parents say the classroom is haunted,” Mr. Leeks, the custodian at Walter T. Melon Elementary, told us on the first day of school. 
He leaned on his mop handle as if it were a crutch. He raised a bushy gray eyebrow and squinted an eye. His whiskers rasped like sand- paper as he stroked his narrow chin. 
“Sometimes in the evening when I’m mopping the hallway, I hear sounds myself coming from that room—that room at the end of the hall,” he said. “Gives me the willies, it does.”
The Purple Reader audio
Read Me A Story, Ink. Podcast
This week my story The Test Tester
Noe School Page
A financial crisis! Cut costs! With dough running low and programs costing too much at his school, Principal Ouia insists that his staff and pupils must stop using that most popular non-consonant that follows d and is prior to f. That common writing symbol was also cut from this book!
Lipogram (from Ancient Greek: λειπογράμματος, "leaving out a letter") a kind of writing in which a particular letter or group of letters is avoided—usually a common vowel, and frequently "E", the most common letter in the English
language.
Captain John Paul Jellyfish
Captain John Paul Jellyfish and his fleet have sailed across the Atlantic. The captain doesn’t like what he finds. Follow the valorous adventures of the bravest jellyfish to ever sail the Seven Seas. His fleet’s challenge? To rid the Eastern seaboard of the pesky Portuguese men-of-war and make the beaches safe again for summer swimming.
Author/Student Skype Chat!
Skype name: wtmelon
Any teacher using MVP: Magellan Voyage Project in their classrooms, let's set up a Skype chat.
Great fun and no charge!
WT Melon Blog
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